The Philosophy of Happiness, it’s Not One Thing or the Other
Happiness is a topic debated by philosophers for more than two thousand years. Today we can benefit from research telling us how best to combine ancient wisdom to pursue a more satisfactory life.
Two Main Schools of Happiness
Philosophy has formed into two primary schools of thought on happiness. The first is Hedonia, the idea of basing a happy life on perusing pleasure and avoiding pain. The second school is Eudaemonia, which involves pursuing your personal best in the service to a goal more significant than yourself.
Both schools have had their adherents and detractors, but recently science has turned its microscope onto the issue and given us a final answer. So which is it, pursue pleasure or work toward meaningful goals? The answer, it turns out, is yes to both.
The Golden Mean and Happiness
Research shows the best way to enjoy life is by striking a balance of both hedonic and eudaemonic happiness. Blending makes sense in light of another ancient Greek philosopher, Aristotle. He wrote about the Golden Mean, the idea that extremes of anything can be harmful. The idea is to avoid extremes and find the middle ground. For example, bravery is the middle between the extremes of recklessness and cowardice.
In the case of happiness, too much pleasure without enough purpose can lead to vacuousness and anxiety. In contrast, a life devoted to meaning without pleasure risks making oneself a martyr and burning out. The correct middle ground is to find a balance of pleasure and purpose in your life. That is the formula for a satisfying life.
How to Balance Pleasure and Purpose
Chances are you are naturally drawn to one way of thinking more than the other. That tendency is your natural orientation to happiness. It is essential to know what this is so you don’t go too far in that direction. (check out this free resource from the University of Pennsylvania here.)
Pleasure + Purpose = Happiness
Build Up Your Weak Side.
Too much of one side can lead to trouble. Take a look at which side you tend to favor and then make a deliberate effort to build up the opposite to become more balanced and resilient. We tend to double down on what comes naturally to us. It takes a conscious effort to build up the other side, but it would be a mistake not to.
Building Eudaemonia
Four common elements define eudaemonia; authenticity, meaning, excellence and growth. Don’t construe these elements as separate. Instead, building on one should reinforce the others.
- Authenticity. The word eudaemonia, comes from the Greek “eu” meaning good and “daimon” meaning spirit or true self. But in our fast-paced and distracting world, it’s not easy to tap into that true self. To find your true self will require the curiosity to explore your thoughts, the humility to accept what you find, and the courage to trust the voice inside of you. Because it is not easy to follow your path in a world where everyone is telling you what you “should do” and what you “ought to” think.
- Meaning involves understanding the bigger picture and how you relate to and contribute to your world. Your contribution can come in many forms, from random acts of kindness to creativity, activism, teaching, childrearing, or investing in a worthwhile goal. Contribution can also include refraining from harm, as in pro-environmental activities.
- Excellence involves striving for high personal standards. Those standards need to fit with your authentic self. The pursuit of excellence requires hard work and commitment, but it is deeply satisfying when you know you have lived up to the best of your abilities. But a warning, the quest for excellence must be tempered by tolerance, or else it risks becoming judgmental toward yourself or others.
- Growth is the feeling of fulfilling your potential through learning, improving, seeking challenges, and maturing. Like excellence, growth requires work and commitment, with the added discomfort of uncertainty. To grow also requires self-mastery which is a necessary skill and a better predictor of goal attainment than intelligence.
Exercises for Cultivating These Balance
Character Strengths
Take the free VIA Character Strengths Survey to learn about your top character strengths. Too often, we focus on our “weaknesses.” Focusing on failings is unfortunate because you can’t become great by trying to improve on your weaknesses. Greatness comes from building on your strength.
This survey may help you identify some strengths you may be neglecting. Once you recognize your aptitudes, you can begin incorporating them into your life.
Write An Essay on Your Best Self
Set aside some uninterrupted time to sit down and write a description of your best self. There is a magic about putting things down on paper rather than just thinking about it in your head, so don’t skimp on this one. If you have a hard time getting started, try writing out answers to questions like; Who inspires me? What did I love to do as a child? What do I believe in? If money and time were no object, what would I do?
Apply a Downward Arrow Technique.
This technique is a powerful way to extract the full values from the questions you answered in the exercise above. It involves making a statement and them asking “why” multiple time.
An example:
“I want to buy a sports car.” “Why do you want a sports car?”
“Because I would look cool in a sports car.”
“Why do you want to look cool?”
“Then people would notice me.”
“Why do you want to be noticed?”
“Because then Stacy might see me as more than a computer nerd.”
I have found this exercise a useful tool for uncovering the deeper meaning of my thoughts and desires. As a rule, I ask “why” five times. Five seems to be a good number to get past the superficial reasoning and down to my true intention.
Take Time to be With Yourself
Shut off the TV, put away your cellphone, and spend some time getting reacquainted with yourself. Taking a long walk can help as moving the body is an excellent way to get the thoughts moving.
Take some time to be with those thoughts. See what comes up and follow where it goes. Just get to know your mind once again when all the distractions are gone.
Align Your Life With Your Authentic Self
Despite the constraints of daily life, you can find ways to bring your life in alignment with your true self. Taking up a hobby is an excellent place to start. One of my character strengths is the “appreciation of beauty.” I funneled that into photography.
After several years of making images, I composed a photo book that contained my favorite photos paired with famous quotations. I then put the album in the waiting room of my office. It has proven to be a great icebreaker and stress reliever for patients who feel they get an opportunity to know me before we ever meet. (You can check out the book on the web here.)
Follow Your Bliss
Pursue what interest you and brings you alive, because as Howard Thurman put it: “… what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Don’t worry about being practical. You don’t need to succeed or make money. Instead, pursue something for its own sake. You may be surprised that once started, things begin to come together. I’ll give the final word on the matter to the noted mythologist, Joseph Campbell,
“Follow your bliss. If you do follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track
that has been there all the while waiting for you, and the life you ought to be
living is the one you are living. . . . . If you follow your bliss, doors will open
for you that wouldn’t have opened for anyone else.”
Building Hedonia
Seeking pleasurable experiences while avoiding stress and discomfort pretty much defines hedonia. These can be simple pleasures from relaxing in a hot bath, going for a walk, or enjoying a good meal with friends or family. To more highbrow pleasures like a night at the opera. All that matters is that they bring you joy and limit discomfort.
The Danger With Hedonia
A focus on hedonia risk going to excess. That is why it is essential to balance pleasure-seeking with eudaemonia. Otherwise, the unbridled pursuit of pleasure can lead to; impulsivity, escapism, selfishness, greed, rampant consumerism, addiction, and other self-destructive behaviors.
When used productively, hedonia gives us energy and optimism to fuel motivation, broaden attention, promote creativity and inspire a desire to build. But making this happen can be challenging if you have too much of a eudaemonic focus, so here is some advice.
Engagement
Get completely immersed in whatever you do. Evaluation and critical thinking are necessary to get results, but it blocks enjoyment. Intentionally select activities you wish to pursue and then throw yourself into them. Dance like no one is watching, especially not the judgemental part of yourself.
Intentional activities
What we do accounts for much more of our happiness than what we own. Hedonic adaptation explains how the new things in our lives quickly stop bringing us the joy they initially did. However, you can avoid that tendency by trying new and varied activities. A great way to do this is by taking up a new hobby in something that interests you.
Don’t Make Happiness the Goal
Seeing an activity as a means to joy rather than a goal in itself can kill the fun. It’s hard to enjoy an activity when you keep asking yourself, “Am I having fun, yet?” When you have the pressure hanging over you to have fun, it’s impossible to do. Try to see the activity you engage in as an end unto itself. The happiness will likely sneak up on you while you are too busy to notice.
Savoring
Mindfully savoring means opening all of your senses, emotions, and thinking to take in an experience more fully. This technique is perfect for appreciating the little things in life, from a child’s laughter to the aroma of a good meal. Best of all, savoring is not just limited to the present moment. You can savor a memory by reliving it. So, pull out the old photo album. You can also savor a future experience by planning for it and envisioning it, like preparing for a future trip. Learn to slow down and stop to smell the roses from time to time.
Gratitude
The internet is full of articles highlighting the benefits of gratitude journals. I won’t belabor the point here. Instead, let me point out one overlooked aspect of gratitude; sharing gratitude with another person can make for a more intense experience. This can come from expressing gratitude to someone for what they have done.
It can also come from sharing with another person things for which you are grateful. And you can show that person how grateful you are that they listened by listening to them share what they are thankful for with you.
Just Be
Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing at all. Feeling overwhelmed by work and other pressures, I recently set a timer and laid in a hammock in my backyard. My idleness proved to be time well wasted. Afterward, I felt more rested and relaxed. I also gained perspective on my problems. My improved outlook gave me new insight to conquer my issues.
It is not natural for humans to work all the time. As the expression goes, we are not “human doings”; we are “human beings.” Sometimes we need to drop the doing and simply be.
“It is impossible to live a pleasant life without living wisely and well and justly. And it is impossible to live wisely and well and justly without living a pleasant life.” — Epicurus
Conclusion
The answer to the age all debate about whether happiness comes from pursuing pleasure or purpose is “yes to both”.
A well-lived life is one that balances both meaning and joy. Yet, most people have a natural tendency to lean toward one approach over the other. By learning about yourself, you can identify which side you favor. Then you can consciously interject more of the other into your life for a more balanced and satisfactory experience.
