Self-help books and gurus offer a dizzying amount of advice promising to make you happier. The reality is, this is all just a continuation of a debate that goes back 2,000 years to the time of ancient Greece. But thanks to modern science, we may finally have an answer as to which approach is best.

Today we are assaulted with a mind-numbing amount of advice on how to be happier. I see it splashed on the covers of supermarket tabloids, on the shelves of every bookstore, and on the nightly news where some new miracle trick to happiness is coming up at 6:00 pm, stay tuned. Whether it is to exercise, eat the new superfood, write in a gratitude journal, treat yourself, volunteer, practice yoga, or find your purpose in life, all of these solutions boil down to two schools of thought that come to us from ancient Greece.

Two Greek philosophers serve as our starting point for these two divergent methods for conceiving happiness. Epicurus taught that happiness comes from enjoying the good things in life and avoiding the bad. In contrast, Epictetus lectured his students on virtue and the importance of living a moral life as the path to happiness.

Epicurus and Pleasure

Epicurus (341–270 B.C.) saw discomfort and negative emotions as the cause of unhappiness and worked to avoid uncomfortable experiences and problems to achieve happiness. Today we tend to think of his Epicurean school as being all about enjoying the good. His detractors tried to claim the same thing back in ancient times by accusing him of engaging in wild debauchery. But that kind of wild hedonism was not Epicurus’s thing at all.

The Epicurean way of thinking puts more value on avoiding negative experiences than in pursuing pleasure. Epicureanism’s key aims were Ataraxia (the freedom from mental disturbance) and Aponia (the absence of physical pain). Epicurus warned against the unbridled pursuit of pleasures as they often do not satisfy us. For example, if contemplating having an affair, Epicurus would have counseled against doing so. He reasons that the experience may bring pleasure in the short-term, but the affair’s ultimate painful dissolution would disrupt your peace of mind and bring on pain.

Instead of blinding chasing after pleasure, Epicurus prompted reason as the way to avoid mental disturbance. He insisted that the good was easy to acquire if we lower our expectations. And that negative experiences could be made less painful by focusing on the pleasant thing amid the turmoil. As for the fear of death, Epicurus famously rationalized it away by saying:

“Death is nothing to us. When we exist, death is not; and when death exists, we are not.”

Epictetus and Purpose

Epictetus (50–135 A.D.) had a very different take on the happy life. He taught that happiness comes from finding your life’s purpose and pursuing that goal. This crippled former slave believed that people should accept their fate and even come to love it as if it’s the fate they would have chosen for themselves. He thought that by pursuing your purpose and accepting your destiny, you could earn happiness through sacrifice.

Rather than avoid pain, fear, and mental discomfort, Epictetus encourages us to work through them to earn happiness. Whereas Epicurus saw distress as something to be avoided to achieve peace, Epictetus saw pain as the price of happiness.

Epictetus talked (he wrote nothing down) about living in harmony with nature. By harmony with nature, he meant accepting things as they are and not wishing for them to be otherwise. He also promoted following a moral philosophy for its own sake. In short, Epictetus’s philosophy is summarized nicely in the Serenity Prayer based on his teachings. “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

One additional way to visualize the differences between these two philosophers is this. Epicurus lived in a lush garden compound surround by a wall. He lived to keep pleasure and beauty in and to lock out the unpleasantness of the world. On the other hand, Epictetus taught his philosophy in the streets of Rome. He was in the world, taking what came his way and doing his best to live his purpose every day despite the difficulties he must have encountered as a disabled former slave.

Hedonism vs Eudaemonia

The teaching of these two philosophers has led to divergent schools of thought on happiness. The Epicurean school is known today as Hedonism, which promotes the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain through reason. In contrast, the rival Epictetus philosophy focuses on Eudaemonia, the goal of developing one’s personal potential in the pursuit of a purpose bigger than the self.

Hedonism sees happiness as coming from pursuing pleasure while avoiding discomfort; eudaemonia sees happiness not as a goal to be pursued but as the reward for living a life of hard work and sacrifice in pursuit of noble ideals. The epicurean view could be summarized best by internet pins that read, “Life is so much easier when you just chill out.” While the Epictetus school would agree with the pin saying, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” To oversimplify;

Hedonia is the pursuit of what feels good; eudaemonia is the pursuit of doing good.

So which of these philosophies is right? Should we lock out what makes us uncomfortable and enjoy life like a hedonist? Or should we focus on living our life’s purpose and doing our best despite the hardships and trust that happiness will find us?

Fortunately, modern science has weighed in on this age-old debate and finally given us the answer humans have waited two millennia to receive. And that answer is; yes and yes.

The Golden Mean and Happiness

Recent research has shown that the best way to be happy is to combine elements of both hedonism and eudaemonia. Blending makes sense in light of another Greek philosopher who wrote about happiness. Aristotle gave us the concept of the Golden Mean. This idea tells us that it’s best to aim for the middle and avoid the extremes. For example, take the virtue of courage, too much courage can lead to recklessness, while too little can lead to cowardice. Bravery is a proper balance between the two extremes.

When it comes to hedonism versus eudaemonia, the middle is again the place to aim. If one focuses on pursuing pleasure to the exclusion of purpose, they risk pursuing empty pleasures. Those are the things that may feel good in the moment — a good meal, a stiff drink (or six), and buying nice things — but which do not produce lasting satisfaction. Instead, pure hedonist risk becoming shallow and vacuous. Indeed, research shows that people who focus on superficial pleasures are more anxious, emotionally unstable, and less happy. Not the Ataraxia Epicurus was suggesting.

On the other hand, focusing on hard work and self-sacrifice to the exclusion of pleasure is also unlikely to lead to happiness. The single-minded pursuit of meaning may seem like a noble undertaking, but without a measure of fun worked in, it does not lead to satisfaction. Instead, it leads to sacrifice and although some sacrifice in life is noble, too much sacrifice with too little enjoyment is a recipe for trouble. It is the formula for a martyr, and we all know how the martyr’s biography ends. Hopefully, your story won’t end on a fiery pyre, but it could lead to the metaphorical equivalent — burnout.

Pleasure — Purpose → Vacuousness and anxiety.

Purpose — Pleasure → Martyrdom and Burnout.

Purpose + Pleasure → Happiness and satisfaction.

The best way to pursue happiness is with a balance of pleasure and purpose. The odds are that you naturally favor one approach or the other. There is nothing wrong with that, but it is a good thing to be aware of so you don’t violate the golden mean.

My Experience

In my life, I have cycled between the two. When I was younger, I was a hedonist. I did what I liked and avoided what I did not. And I was happy, but I was also a child and not going anywhere with that approach.

In my late teens, I got more serious about my life and started working to develop myself into the person I could be. I also hunted around for a purpose and eventually settled on medicine. It was an astute choice, offering the opportunity to improve myself through learning and do meaningful work to benefit others.

My problem started when I entered medical school. The demands of my studies left little time for fun. I felt like I was studying all the time. Even going out for pizza with classmates was a study session. I came to think that if I was not hitting the books, I was wasting my time. Pleasurable activities like reading a novel, watching a movie, or riding my bike made me feel guilty, so I gave them up.

Surgical residency proved even more demanding. I won’t bore you with stories of how hard training was before the more benign work hour restrictions of today. I was putting in long days, with nights on call, and expected to read a 2,500-page book on surgery in my “free time.” This left little time for my wife and none for myself. I had given up pleasure in the pursuit of purpose, and I would pay the price.

When I entered my surgical practice, I continued to pursue my purpose at the expense of pleasure. I had been working so long (9 years) toward a goal that I no longer knew how to seek happiness. Instead, I said “yes” to every consult and request made of me. I put my patients’ best interests ahead of my own. And just like I indicated above, I burned out. It was ugly and painful, not only for me but also for the people around me who got singed.

How You Can Use This In Your Life

The lesson here is that you need to find a balance of hedonic and eudaemonic happiness in your life. The question is, how do you do that? The steps below will help.

Recognize Yor Weak Side

It starts with recognizing your natural tendency to pursue one or the other. Take time to reflect on your approach to happiness. Do you make time to enjoy the good things in life? Or do you derive more satisfaction from working toward a goal? Neither attitude is inherently right or wrong, but overreliance on one versus the other can lead to an unbalanced life and unhappiness. (If you feel you need help deciding which camp you fall into, try this free quiz from the University of Pennsylvania here.)

Build on your weakness.

Too much pursuit of pleasure or purpose, no matter how well-intentioned, can lead to trouble. Once you recognize which way you lean, make an effort to incorporate the other side to become more balanced and resilient. We tend to double down on what comes naturally to us. It takes a deliberate effort to build up the other side, but it would be a mistake to neglect to do so.

Add Hedonia

If you are a hard-driven, goal-oriented person pursuing your purpose in life, make time to stop and smell the roses. Schedule some “me time” to do something for no reason other than it makes you feel good. Dinner out with friends, getting a massage, reading a good book, playing with your dog, whatever works for you. It does not need to be a significant event. It might be better if it’s not, as keeping it small makes it less intimidating to do. So pull out that day planner and pen (yes, pen, no erasing this) in a little time to do something just because you enjoy it.

Add Eudaemonia

If you tend toward the pleasure side of happiness, then make an effort to build a little more purpose into your life. That does not mean you need to move to Calcutta and minister to the poor. It does mean taking a look at your strengths and interests and finding a place those two things intersect with a need of others. Not sure where to start?

Find a way to bring your abilities forward to help others and pursue a noble purpose. It may not sound like fun at first, but if you stick to what is right for you — rather than what others tell you you should do — it will increase your life satisfaction.

Conclusion

The goal is not to go from one side to the other. The goal is to find a balance of hedonism and eudaemonia in your life. The Golden Mean is the key. Find your way to the middle by incorporating both pleasure and purpose into your life. It will lead to a more satisfying experience.