It’s possible to achieve all your goals and yet never get what you want out of life. This failure to achieve your life’s ambitions occurs when you confuse means goals and end goals. Neither one is inherently right or wrong. When used in the right way, both are necessary to create a great life. But when means goals get confused for end goals, things can go badly off track.

Means Goals vs. End Goals

If you skip dessert to lose weight, you are pursuing a means goal. Forgoing the treat is a means to the desire to get thinner. The activity is a means to an end. It is not the end in itself, or it shouldn’t be. The actual objective you are pursuing should not be to eat less sugar or even to lose a few pounds; the end should be to live a healthy life and feel more confident in your own skin.

The problem is that people often confuse the means for the end. They lose track of why they are ultimately engaging in the behavior. When that happens, the means becomes an end in itself. So when they reach their goal weight, they drop the healthy eating and go back to their old ways. Soon the weight is back on, and they are feeling worse about themselves.

On the other hand, if they had kept in mind that the end goal was to get healthy and feel confident in their own skin, then the mean would have remained just that, a means to an end. Once that means achieved its goal (a specific weight or fitting into clothing), they would have shifted their focus to a new means that would keep them moving towards their end goal of a healthy and fit life.

Means goals

Means goals are stepping stones to a bigger goal. They lead to something grander, or at least they should. Means goals are the tools to achieve your ultimate objective, your end goals. Thus means goals should be flexible so they can be adjusted as needed to achieve your ultimate aim. That is because the utility of means goals resides in their ability to produce the results you want. If they don’t generate results, then they can be modified or even abandoned.

End goals

End goals, on the other hand, are non-negotiable. You should never compromise when it comes to getting the best for yourself and your family. You can’t compromise on your end goals, but you must remain flexible in the means you use to achieve that end. If you can’t be happy living in a big city, then move to the country. Compromise on the methods you use to achieve your end goal, but never compromise on your ultimate goal — never compromise on being happy, healthy, and loving.

End goals are vague

Whereas means goals conform easily to goal planning, end goals do not. End goals are vaguer. End goals are more like a direction than a destination. You can set the goal of running a marathon. That sets up several subgoals for training, eating, and recovery, which are all means goals. They are the means to running a marathon, but even the big event is a means goal. It is the means to a healthier and fitter lifestyle. The end goal is fitness and health, but that is a less specific goal than to run 26.2 miles on a designated day.

Means goals have endpoints; end goals do not.

The crucial difference between means goals and end goals is that means goals have well-defined endpoints (a number on the scale, a dollar figure). Means goals are limited and can be completed, but end goals are objectives you can pursue for a lifetime. You don’t achieve happiness on a given day and then live happily ever after — unless you live in a fairytale. A happy life is a lifetime goal, as is health, fitness, and love. You don’t become your best on one day; instead, you have to work toward that goal every day of your life.

End goals welcome flexibility and failure.

Shifting your focus to end goals welcomes more flexibility into your life. If one means does not work out, no big deal. See the failure as a lesson on how not to pursue your ultimate aim. Failure then becomes a productive way to eliminate unsuccessful tactics. Ironically, failure becomes a means to your end by allowing you to learn the lesson and move on with a better understanding of what doesn’t work.

Focusing on the end goal allows you to remain flexible and encourages you to seek creative solutions. That flexibility reduces stress as failure becomes feedback rather than a disaster. Failing can even become a game as you try lots of new things, keeping what works and discarding what doesn’t.

The Danger.

The danger comes when people confuse means goals and end goals, which can happen in two ways. The first is when you allow the means to supplant the end. For example, you may think that earning a bigger salary would be beneficial for your family. It would create a little buffer against unexpected expenses and provide some “funny money” for travel. But it is easy to get so focused on the means goal that you lose sight of the end. Now you are working late on weeknights and going in on weekends and have no time for a vacation. Blind pursuit of the means goal (to earn more money) results in you spending less time with your family, the opposite of the end goal you had in mind.

The other mistake is to abandon the end when the means falls through. The violinist Lindsey Sterling pinned all of her hopes for a music career on winning the TV contest America’s Got Talent. So when she got rejected by the judges, she thought her dream was over. And it would have been if she had continued to think, “I didn’t make it on America’s Got Talent, so it is not meant to happen.” Fortunately, she picked herself up, remained flexible, got creative, and found a unique path to success. She returned to America’s Got Talent four years later, but as a featured entertainer rather than a contestant. She remembered her end goal was to become a musician and that winning a TV talent contest was just one way she could do that. But many other people make the mistake of assuming that when one means falls through, they need to abandon their end goal.

What You Can Do.

The real question is, how can you use this understanding of mean and end goals to set better priorities in your life?

Start with the end in mind.

If you don’t know where you want to go, every method that promises a quick fix seems like a good idea. The only problem is that it does not matter how fast you are moving if it is in the wrong direction. For that reason, you need to know what course you want to pursue. You don’t need to plan your path, but you do need the general direction.

I think of the end goal like a compass. It points you in the right direction and can get you reoriented when you go astray. What the end is not like is a GPS. It is not a set destination with waypoints and exact directions. Being happy, living a good life, loving your family, and being content are not objectives you will ever achieve. Instead, they are the cardinal points on your compass of life. Keep those points in mind as you navigate your experience.

I have been guilty of falling victim to every workout and nutrition tip in the magazines. I have tried one thing after another. Often they failed to get me the results they promised, not because the advice was wrong, but because they were mistaken for me. They did not fit the ultimate goal I wanted to achieve and, in some cases, proved to counterproductive. A fad diet is not going to help you if your goal is to eat better for life. A get-fit-quick boot camp won’t make you fit for life if you hate it and can’t wait for it to end.

List your end goals

The best way to ensure you stay on track is to make your end goals clear and keep them in front of you so you can refer back to them regularly. Whereas means goals can be defined by the five points of the SMART system, end goals are better defined by asking yourself the same question five times. This technique, first described by Sakichi Toyota, involves asking yourself “Why?” five times as a method to uncover your real motivation for pursuing a goal.

To use the technique, think of a goal you want to pursue. Perhaps you want to gain a promotion at work. Ask yourself, “Why do I want this promotion?” It may be because the position will give you more power. Why do you want more power? Because with more influence you could promote your ideas. Why do you want to do that? Because you have good ideas that could result in better manufacturing methods and products. Why do you want to that? To improve the company and because you have a creative tendency and want to create something new. Now you see that your end goal is to do something creative and make something of your own. The promotion is the means to an end, not the end in itself. If you don’t get the upgrade, you can still pursue the end goal via different means.

Now the last question is, “Is this means goal the best way to achieve my end?” Perhaps it is, but it might also be that the best way to pursue your end is not via the means you are following. Maybe even with a promotion, it is unlikely your company will change. If that is the case, pursuing the promotion will not get you to the end of creating and innovating. Instead, you might be better off not seeking the promotion if that leaves you more time to pursue your end as a side project.

Create means goals in service to your end goals.

Only after you have your end goals clear in mind is it time to plan means goals. That is because the means goals are only worthwhile if they serve your end.

Once you know what you ultimately want to achieve, break that big, vague goal into some manageable steps. Now is the time to pull out your SMART goal planning. Make these means goals Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-Limited (learn more about SMART goals here).

If you want to get more physically fit, then plan out how you will get more exercise. When will you exercise? Where will you do it, in a gym, park, or the sidewalk by your house? What will you do? Who will you do it with? And how will you evaluate your progress?

That last question is an essential element that people often overlook, but it is critical. Remember, your means goal is only useful if it helps you to progress toward your desired end. So take a minute to ask yourself how you will evaluate the result of this means goal and how long you will work at it before you reevaluate it. This step is a crucial element in medical research where we set specific times to check results and even to abandon a study if the treatment is not working. Try applying the same principle to your life.

Frequently question your means goals.

Look at all of the things you are working hard to achieve in life. Most of these will be means goals. That is not inherently wrong, but the question is, means to what end? Toward what ultimate end are your efforts directed? Or are you just working to put one more certificate on the wall?

Your means goals are only helpful if they take you closer to your end goal. If not, they are a waste of time at best and an interference at worst. Set aside time to think about all the things you are working hard to achieve. Question each of those goals as to its ultimate end and how successful it is at achieving that goal. You will likely find that you are chasing many means for their own end. It is time to rethink or even abandon those goals.

Be quick to abandon means and slow to give up end goals

You should never abandon your end goals. You must never give up goals like living your best life, being healthy and happy. On the other hand, you should be quick to abandon any means goals that do not move you closer to your ends.

Take time to regularly assess your means goals and ask if each one is getting you closer to your ultimate end. Be ruthless in your appraisal. Abandoning goals can be a difficult task, especially when others around you have dedicated themselves to those means. But this is your life. You need to evaluate each means in light of your ends and whether or not it is getting you closer to the life you want.

If your means goal is not facilitating your ultimate end, then it is working against you. If not actively keeping you from what you want in life, then passively taking up time better spent more productively. When that is true, it’s time to abandon that means. Remember, this is not failure; it’s information, information about what does not work. Take that new knowledge to heart and use it to do better next time.

Be flexible

Many things you try are not going to work out. That is not failure; it’s learning. Just because one path did not take you where you wanted to go does not mean you can’t get there. You may need to get creative and take a detour, but you can still get the job done.

When you leave on a cross-country car trip, you shouldn’t turn back the first time you encounter a road closure. Yet, that is what many people do. They hit the first roadblock and assume, “Oh, well. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.” Then they give up.

When you hit a roadblock, look for the detour. Maybe the freeway won’t work, but you can move onto the highway and still get to your destination. It may take a little longer, but you may also see some unexpected sights along the way. You might even be glad you went that way in the end.

Stay flexible. Keep your focus on your end goal and refuse to compromise. But be quick to replace any means goal that doesn’t serve that end. Be rigid with your end goals and flexible with your means goals.

Conclusion

Both means goals and end goals have a place in building a good life. The danger comes when you confuse your means for ends and lose track of what you ultimately want from life. Take the time to enumerate your end goals. Then create means goals that serve those ends and if those means don’t get you the results you desire, drop them for better means. Experiment and be flexible with your means goals, but never compromise on your end goals. You deserve to live a life that brings out your best, one that dilled with health, happiness, and love.

Want to learn more? Check out these articles;

Why You Don’t Do What You Should and How to Fit That

Are These 8 Mental Errors Keeping You From the Life You Want?

How to Develop a Philosophy of Life