You will never get it all done. There is too much to do. That may sound hopeless, but I hope to convince you that accepting these facts will make you feel better about life.

My Bad Example

For the first decade of my career as a surgeon, I believed I needed to care for all my patients before I could relax and care for myself. So I went in early and stayed late day after day. How could I do differently when there were people who needed me. But it turns out the work is never done. No matter how good you are at curing people, new patients with new illnesses are constantly admitted to the hospital. If you wait for everyone else to be healthy before you look after your own health, you end up like I was — miserable, exhausted, and obese.

People are Busier than Ever

Surveys show that people feel busier today than ever, and that’s not the worst news. One group of researchers pointed out the problem may be far worse than surveys suggested because the people who feel the busiest also feel too harried to respond to the researcher’s request. So it’s not just you.

The Real Problem

The real problem isn’t that you don’t have enough time to get everything done. The real problem is that you are brainwashed into accepting society’s expectations about what you should be doing with your time.

The problem is that you could do a nearly infinite number of things, but you have only a finite amount of time and ability to do them.

The wrong solution.

The failed solution everyone is pursuing is to learn how to become more productive and efficient with their time. So you chase after the latest tips and life hacks that promise to teach you how to get more done in less time. Books, magazines, seminars, and elaborate day planners all promise to help you master your time and become more productive.

The problem isn’t that these tactics don’t work; the problem is that they do. They do make you more efficient and productive, creating the illusion that you should be able to do it all if you can adequately master your time. But the reality is you can’t ever do it all, no matter how much of a time management master you become.

You are only making it worse.

Take email, for example. Congratulations if you can respond to every message and clear your inbox. You can pat yourself on the back, but not for long because the responses you send will result in replies from others that fill your in-basket as quickly as you can clear it out. The paradox becomes that the more you get done, the more work there is for you to do. There is no way to get ahead.

Liberating Thought

Knowing you can’t get ahead does not have to be a depressing thought. Instead, it can be liberating. Recognizing you can’t do it all means you can stop beating yourself up over your endless to-do list.

When your kids go off to college, will you be happier if you kept your inbox empty or spent time with your children when you had the chance?

Accept reality.

The reality is that you can only do so much. Once you accept that fact, you can move on to the critical issue of deciding what is worth doing.

The key to being happier is prioritizing those things that will get you the best results for your effort. Dropping those things that are the priorities of others — but not necessarily your priorities — is a liberating feeling. Once you accept that you can only do so much, you can focus on what is worth doing and let the rest slide.

The Dangerous Mistake of Time Management

Here is what the time management gurus won’t tell you; being more productive won’t make you happier. The world abounds with wonderful things to do and see, but if you are focused only on being more productive, you will miss out on the wonder of life. And life is an amazing and brief experience you should not miss.

You can’t do it all.

It’s time to admit to yourself that you can’t do it all; no matter how productive you become, that won’t change. The odds are stacked against you. Like playing in a Las Vegas casino, you always lose in the end. The only way to “win” in Vegas is not to play. The way to win in life is to not play by the rules laid down by others.

What is worth doing?

Instead, decide what experience you want out of your life. Is it maintaining an empty email inbox or doing more with your limited time to explore the world around you? Set your own priorities. Do what is most meaningful to you. You can’t do it all, so don’t waste your life feeling guilty about the things that aren’t meaningful to you.

You can only do so much in your lifetime. Once you accept that, you can get down to the crucial question of what is worth doing. What is the unique contribution you can make to your work and life that no one else can? Certainly, it’s more than responding to all emails within an hour. After all, most people can do that. Your priority must be doing what others can’t do at work and in your personal life.

Conclusion

Accept that you can’t do it all. It is a game stacked against you. Even if you somehow get it all done, that will only result in more demands in the future. Rather than fight an impossible battle, surrender to reality. Stop beating yourself up for not being able to do it all and instead permit yourself to focus on what is important to you. Because, as that teen guru Ferris Bueller tells us, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”