Happiness is not one thing.

Why it matters

You need all three primary colors to make a full spectrum. To live a happy life, you need all three aspects of happiness.

What are the Three Aspects of Happiness?

1. Pleasure — These are the good feelings, predominantly physical, that we experience. They can range from a good meal to a strenuous workout, soaking in the tub, sex, and a good night’s sleep.

2. Grace — This is the appreciation of the good things and people in our lives. When people talk about gratitude diaries, they are eluding to this kind of happiness.

3. Excellence — The pursuit of improvement in a goal more significant than yourself. Excellence can be a physical, mental, or spiritual achievement. It can range from running a marathon to writing a book to practicing mindfulness. This form of happiness pushes us to more than the fulfillment of our daily whims. And it makes it possible for us to find joy in activities that are not comfortable or pleasant.

Why You Need All Three:

When it comes to color, you can’t make the rainbow without all three primary colors. You can’t make purple without red, no matter how much blue you add.

Your life is the same; you can’t make a happy life by focusing only on pleasures. That may seem nice at first, but you will lose your appreciation for what you have without the grace to reflect on your good fortunes. Your pleasure will become empty, and so will your life.

By pushing past pleasure, you can experience the joy of accomplishing something difficult and unpleasant. Moreover, you can become a better person, which is its own source of satisfaction. The pursuit of excellence is a key aspect of happiness; you stagnate without some drive to improve.

Keep in mind pursuing excellence does not require achieving it to feel fulfilled. Often the joy is found in the pursuit and not the accomplishment. That is why it is called the pursuit of happiness.

What to Do Next

Give yourself a happiness audit.

Sit down and look at the sources of happiness in your life.

Step 1

Make a list of all the things that make you happy. Take your time and make it complete. Ask yourself how you draw happiness from each of the following categories.

Physical

Mental

Emotional

Spiritual

Family

Friends

Work

Make a list of all your sources of happiness from each of the categories above and any other you can think of. Write it all down. No pleasure is too small. No challenge is too inconceivable.

Step 2

Go back through your list and put a mark next to each item indicating if it is a;

P for Pleasure

G for Grace

E for Excellence

Using a different color of ink for each letter can be helpful, as doing so creates a more visceral feel for the list when you look at it in the next step.

Step 3

Look for an imbalance in the types of happiness you are pursuing. Too much pleasure can make you shallow. While too much work in pursuit of improvement can make you a martyr (we all know how martyrs end, not good).

Step 4

Now look for ways to add more balance to your list. If you enjoy listening to music, can you expand on that by seeking out new genres? Or you could turn your pleasure into a source of excellence by learning to play an instrument. You may never become a great musician, but the experience will give you much more gratitude for those who have mastered their craft.

Putting it all Together

The three aspects of happiness are like the primary colors. You can’t make a full pallet of colors without all three primary colors. You can’t make a happy life without all three aspects of happiness.

Most people live unbalanced lives, pursuing one aspect of happiness at the expense of others. But in doing so, they cheat themselves out of the full spectrum of joy needed to paint a fulfilling life.

Auditing your life to see where you are indulgent and deficient can show you the way to a more balanced and satisfying approach to happiness. One that can take you to higher levels than you currently experience.

Read More:

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